Build a Firm Foundation for Your Marriage

When Jeremy and I took our SYMBIS assessment in February 2020, we had an 86% match on trust and stability. We felt entirely safe and rarely fought, so we thought our marriage was bulletproof. What we didn't realize was that our high stability score was actually masking a quiet, invisible trap in our personalities.

The report labeled me 'Deliberating'—meaning I was quiet, unassuming, and would completely suppress my own needs or avoid saying 'no' just to keep the peace. Jeremy was 'Energizing'—a total optimist who naturally focused on the bright side. Because we both started with a high romantic mindset, we mistakenly relied on feelings rather than intentional work. When the romance naturally dipped, my habit of hiding my thoughts to avoid making waves meant we stopped having the raw, honest conversations needed to survive. His natural optimism meant he didn't see the storm brewing beneath my compliance

Looking back at this report gave me the answers and clarity I desperately needed. I finally understand how our behavioral differences interacted. I've learned that real trust isn't just about keeping things easygoing and avoiding conflict—it requires the assertiveness to speak up and handle the waves together. This closure has given me the personal wisdom and bedrock principles I need to build a truly unbreakable relationship in the future.

When my husband Maddie and I first took our SYMBIS personality assessment, the results essentially told us we weren't ready for marriage. Honestly, we were cynical. We had both seen too many relationships fall apart, and we deeply feared that getting married meant losing our individual identities and independence. We are not spiritual people, so traditional marriage advice never resonated with us.

But learning the evidence-based relationship science behind emotional security completely flipped our perspective. Instead of treating marriage like a trap that halts personal growth, we learned how a rock-solid foundation of emotional safety acts as a launchpad. By intentionally choosing to be each other's safe spot every single day, we secured our fundamental needs for safety and belonging.

Because we have that secure anchor, we didn't lose ourselves at all. In fact, we gained the confidence to climb higher individually—pursuing our own careers, hobbies, and personal growth knowing we completely have each other's backs. Years later, we are happily married, thriving, and living proof that a secure partnership doesn't swallow up your identity—it anchors it.